Rose: Dream About John
by Blaze0843
Summary: And you wish you could stay in this dream forever.


Your eyes flicker back and forth between the window and the bickering of three hormonal teens coming from behind you. While you can't blame them for becoming edgy, you still wish they would just shut up. Their constant arguing has become a rather casual, everyday thing for them. Especially Dave and Karkat. Kanaya just sort of sits in the background, and Terezi isn't usually present. You notice that most of their fights are about her and this... shipping chart. You remember it from, what, two and a half years ago? Sort of. Karkat prophesied that Dave and Jade were supposed to become "matesprites" as he called them. And, to your utter blushing, you and John as well. To be quite honest, you never pictured you and John as an... item. With all the killing and frogs and Green Suns and such going on, you never really noticed your feelings, if you could even call them that. But no, you refuse to enter a romantic relation at such times. Now is not the time for romance. The world needs saving. Well, whatever's left of it, at least.

The window doesn't really show much; everything is either black space or going by too fast to see. The occasional asteroid, but other than that, dull. That empty vacuum is the only thing separating John and Jade from you, and it feels like it will never end. But, there's only six more months left to wait out, and if you lasted two and a half, you could last another six. Although, you weren't sure if the three behind you could last another six. You might've killed them before then. Let's just forget the fact that they can come back to life. At least, Dave can.

Their screams are inaudible, and you're quite glad. You can't make heads or tails of their words; it all just sounds like a bunch of gibberish. The candles are already burnt out, and to be honest, you don't really care. There wasn't even a cake, so what's the point? Birthdays are as pointless as Groundhog Day. Who cares about the day you were born, especially when you've got bigger things to worry about, like, y'know, helping the alpha-kids win their session?

Then again, you've got six more months left... Oh well. You'll just celebrate the 4th of December by yourself.

You leave Dave, Karkat, and Kanaya (mostly the former two) to their rambunctious yelling and slip into a secret passage, one of the many hundreds of others located on the meteor. This is the one only you know about, that you didn't share with the others. There are some times where there's just too much Dave or too much Karkat, and being with Kanaya by yourself is awkward. It seems as if the only person you can tolerate here is Aradia. So, you just slip into the nearby hallway, noting how many blocks of brick you've passed until you reach a certain one. With just a light tap, it slides open silently, allowing you to slip inside and close it behind you.

You remember the day you discovered this, a year ago to be exact. An exact year. December 4th. Your birthday. Dave got cups of coffee from that weird alien pod thing and poured you a cup of joe (which tasted like shit). They all put some foam in the broth that was supposed to resemble a fifteen, but it ended up looking like a musical note. Either way, you thanked them and took a sip, forcing the gunk down your throat and pretending to like it. But, to be honest, you don't think you were fooling anyone. So, you sort of slipped away, telling them all you would retire to your room to sleep the rest of the day. And, that's when you happened upon this place. All you really did was lay on the brick in exhaustion, a pure coincidence that you found it. But you were glad you did, for it is the only barrier between you and the bratty teens outside.

If you were to be quite honest about yourself, you would say you haven't changed much, aside from the fact that you have more curves. Your personality is practically the same, and you're afraid John will be a bit disappointed in what he sees—wait, what are you saying? You don't care what John thinks of you, so long as the two of you remain friends. In fact, that's your biggest fear: that the four of you won't be as close as you were three years ago, back when you first started playing SBURB. You keep telling yourself that it will be fine, and that this entire experience has only brought you even closer. Your powers of the Seer tell you otherwise. A gut feeling tells you that the four of you will be closer with the trolls and salamanders than with each other. You suppose you'll just have to give Jade the biggest hug of her life to prove otherwise.

The torch on the wall to your left automatically lights up as you walk near it, causing the rest of the hallway to light up in a brilliant show as well. You walk down them, the torches burning to life like magic. Except, magic isn't real, of course. At least, that's what Doc Scratch said. But who can take that stupid backstabbing traitor for his word? All he did was act like a pedophile and trick you into creating the one thing you were desperately trying to destroy. Maybe, all this time, everything you did was wrong. Blowing up your gate, blowing up the tumor, everything. You were played for a fool all this time, by everyone. Doc Scratch, the Horrorterrors. What's next, becoming Lord English's personal maid? You kick aside a stray rock in frustration, but continue down the path laid out for you.

The path ends into a large, somewhat throne-like room. A large, queen bed lays at the far end of the wall, with a fireplace across from it and a mammoth selections of books standing on an old bookshelf. It was once covered in dust, but looks brand new thanks to your hard work. The place looks like it was just recently made, despite being actually built generations ago. It has a certain medieval flare to it, to which you personally like. Except, it doesn't have a computer. That's the only diminishing part.

The bed is soft and luxury, as you've laid on it many a times before. This is where you usually sleep, even though some people question as to where you're actually resting. You assume they walk into your room, only to find your bed empty of a body and the lights all dimmed. You just tell them that you stay up late and retire late, but they don't believe you. Oh well, it's not like they'll ever find this place. It's too well hidden, especially for one such as Dave or Karkat. Kanaya probably could find it, if she tried hard enough. But the poor girl doesn't seem to be wanting to anger you, so she just sort of hides in the background. You feel bad for her, since her obvious red feelings for you are unable to be returned. You've tried just telling her to be moirails or whatever it is for trolls, but she just slides away like a ghost or something. You really hate having to seem like such a, dare you say it, bitch, but you're not lesbian. You understand the fact that trolls do not have such limitations to reproductions and matespritship, but you do. You're still human. Always have been, and always will be. No sea demons or feathery devils or monk robes can change that. You still make mistakes, and you can still die. The fact that you're technically a Goddess doesn't make sense, but apparently the game doesn't want to make it too easy for you.

You wrap the velvety blanket around you, falling into a trance almost instantly. You feel like you're on air, a cloud perhaps. Just floating along like the world isn't ending, and the fate of everyone doesn't lie on your shoulders. For once, you can just forget about SBURB and John and Jade and everything can just disappear. At the blink of an eye, you can just block it all out. You wish you could stay this way, stuck in a dream. But whenever you seem to dream, the Horrorterrors are always there, watching you, manipulating you like a puppet with strings attached. Whispering thoughts of evil into your ear, sending shivers up your spine and legs. Forcing you to watch everything you hold dear die before you.

Mom...

That snaps you awake, and you decide it's best not to fall asleep. You lie on your back, staring up at the ceiling in a sweat. You're stuck in a trance now, gazing up at the ceiling for what seems like hours, but is really only minutes. Wondering about why this had to happen to you, and not someone else. Why couldn't you have just left that game alone, none of this happens, and you can live happily with your mom? The world doesn't need a Seer, let alone a Hero of Light. You're practically useless, being unable to fight, having no real purpose except to be manipulated by just about everything evil in the game. Dave's useful; he's got those beat mesa things and can time travel. Jade's useful; she was responsible for breeding the frogs and taking the planets with her. Even John's useful; he was the one who discovered the tumor. Everyone seems to have done something to help the session, the only exception being you. Maybe you should just stay on the meteor, leave everything to the rest.

"Why me...?" You whimper in self-pity, which automatically makes you hate yourself. You hate crying, and you never have done such a thing in your life. Not even when your mom died. How arrogant can you get? "I didn't go after her. I let John die. I created the Green Sun. I let Mom die. I blew up my own gate. I-"

"Saved my life. Taught us how to beat the game. Told us what to do and how to do it. Explained every piece of crap this game throws at us, like it expects us to automatically know what the fuck it is. You were John's server player, helped him get started. How the hell can you sit there and say you're an unuseful waste of space?" That voice. You don't even bother to sit up, quickly wiping away the tears that you only now noticed were streaming down your face. But it's too late. You know he's already seen them.

"How did you-?"

"I followed you. Eh, sorry about stalkin' you, but I noticed you were leavin' and I was like, 'where the fuck is she going, she's gonna miss the frickin' party!' So, I followed you and saw you go into this weird place and, man this place is super cool." You sit up, watching him gaze around the room, noticing every little detail from the stone walls and flooring to the fireplace. "Why didn't you tell us about this place?"

"You have your secrets, and I have mine." You simply state, folding your arms as if you were trying to look irritated. You didn't really pull it off. Dave can see right through you, you're fairly certain.

"C'mon. Don't beat yourself down." Dave says, trying to get back on topic, noticing your sly attempt to divert the subject. "You've done a lot more than you think you have."

"I know, I know." You say, a bit harshly, but quickly lower your tone to one of understanding. "I just... I... feel like I've only done harm to this mission."

"Harm? You put up with me for the entire two years, trying to teach me what the hell was going on when I had no clue. I hardly doubt that counts as harm." He counters, still looking at the large painting hanging above the fireplace. Well, it was more of a rose window, without the actual window part. Only now you notice that the characters portrayed in the glass are similar to you four. Well, their faces are hidden, but their GodTier outfits are nearly identical.

All you can manage out is a sigh, a bit irritated that he found your secret hideaway. Guess you'll have to find a new one.

"Hey, it's fine. I won't tell no one." He says, almost reading your mind. A coy smile is smeared across his face, as if he could blackmail you at any moment. You only roll your eyes and position yourself against the headboard, so that your back is supported.

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"For not telling the others." You mutter.

"No problem." He says, shrugging it off like the too-cool-for-school guy he is. But you know he really does appreciate it. And you really appreciate what he is doing. "So...only six more months, right?" He asks out of the blue, wandering over to the other side of the room.

The question surprises you, but you answer it with as much monotone as you can. "Yes. The meteor should meet up with the ship in approximately six months, perhaps less. We will be in the alpha-kids session, and then we can get started on beating the game."

Dave rolls his eyes, as if you just gave him a load of bullshit. "Rose, you don't look like you're excited at all to see John again. And Jade." He quickly adds, trying to not sound too obvious. You realize what he's trying to do, and you automatically shut him out.

"Of course I am."

"But something's worrying you. What is it?"

Damn, this guy can read you like a book, huh? And he doesn't even read books. "... Maybe." You mutter, now sitting on the bed-side and staring at your feet hanging off the edge.

"It's a yes or no question."

You think a moment before answering. "It's a minor obstacle. I'll get over it."

"What's that?" Dave seems really persistent. Were you saying some things out loud without noticing it?

"Just that..." you pause, nibbling on the inside of your cheek. "what if... we're not friends anymore, when we meet up again?"

"C'mon, Rose. That's a bunch of bull." He says, out-loud this time. Dave walks towards you, arms crossed wryly and shades hiding his eyes, as usual. "John and Jade are our friends, and we have been for years. Why would three years apart change that?" This time, it's his turn to become nervous, taking a seat next to you on the bed, hands locked together, as if he's in thought.

You glance at him, unable to see his eyes behind his shades. But, if you had to guess, you assume that he has a sorrowful gaze. "Do you think... they think about us much?"

"I always wonder that... and yeah, I hope so." He says truthfully, his gaze lifting from his hands to the wall in front of him.

"Do you think they miss us as much as we miss them?"

"Definitely." He chuckles a bit, and you can't help but chuckle as well. You notice him nervously twitching a bit, as if he was releasing his most inner thoughts to you.

"I can be your therapist, if you need me to be." You say, a warming, yet sly smile on your face. "I've done it many times before."

"Heh. That's just what I need, a tentacle therapist." He says sarcastically, but you can tell he really means it. He's serious.

"Okay. Let's start with the thought of Jade. Now," you lean in closer, an inflection in your voice, making it slow, "how does that make you feel?"

"Rose!" He pushes you away, and you both laugh at your sarcasm. It was meant to be a joke, of course, but it doesn't really help with the feelings.

"But... seriously, Dave. Do you really have... feelings?" You needed to know. You had to know that you weren't the only one feeling this. It made it feel like butterflies in your stomach. And, if Dave had those exact same feelings for Jade, then it would make you feel less alien. After all, the fact that Jade had a crush on Dave was pretty obvious to just about everyone.

"Well... I mean, uh," He stutters, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment. "I... I'll make you a deal. I'll tell you about my feelings, if you tell me about yours."

You roll your eyes, realizing that Dave was just playing you. But if he wanted to know, he'd get it. "Alright then. Deal."

"Okay then." He grins, crossing his arms slyly. "No, I don't have feelings for Jade."

"Oh, that's a load of crap! C'mon, Dave, no lies!" You punch him lightly, able to see through his ploy easily. You were, after all, a Seer. And, no matter how many times you reference that, you will still be able to use those powers.

Dave rolls his eyes, still trying to go through with it. But after looking at your hard stare, he finally cracks. "Alright, alright. Okay, so I have a few little... snippets of feelings. I have to say, I like her better than puppet's cocks."

"Dave..." You groan, and he just laughs. You know he's just joking, though, and that he really means it. He really cares for Jade. So, you really aren't the only one after all.

"What about you and John? You gotta have something for him, right?" Dave seems persistent about the two of you, like a bro watching his bro get laid, or something. You shrug and try to gather the courage to say something, but you remain speechless. "Should I take your silence as a yes?"

"Dave!" You groan again, finally managing to spit something out. "I... suppose I have feelings. I think they are, at least. It could also be the stomach flu. You never know." You joke, but you're nearly 100% sure it's the fact that you like John. "But... I hate loving him. Not because I don't like him, which I do. I just... I'm scared. Scared that he's not going to be on the ship when we meet up, or that he's going to be killed by Jack Noir again, or that he's going to do something insanely stupid and get himself killed, or maybe even die protecting me, which sounds really cliché, but he's a cliché guy, so it could possibly happen, and..." You notice Dave is snickering just a bit, but not in the way that's mean. In the way that he knows how you feel, and what you're going through. Plus, you were rambling just a bit.

"I know the feeling, Rose. I know the feeling." He says, giving you a soft pat on your shoulder. You have a solemn glance, which you're pretty sure he notices. You've gone silent, just staring at the ground in sorrow, knowing that you still have to wait to see him. And now that you've vented, it's going to hurt even more waiting for him.

"Rose, don't worry." He says, suddenly. "Six months will be up before you know it. And I know he's going to return those feelings. Trust me." And with that, he gets up and leaves, the footsteps he leaves behind noisy and clumsy. "And, by the way, Happy Birthday." The stone wall opens and slides closed at almost the same time, and you know he's now gone.

You lie back on the bed, this time deciding not to be covered by the blanket. It's too hot now, and you're sweating bullets. Cheeks cherry-red, and forehead burning up. Maybe you've got the stomach flu? Oh, who are you kidding, it's not that. John is waiting for you. You'll meet up soon, and there's no reason to worry. He'll be there. He'll love you back.

He'll love you back.

And, as you slip into unconsciousness, you can almost feel his arms wrapping around you, spooning you as you both fall asleep in each other's arms. And you wish you could stay in that dream forever.


End file.
